My Everchanging Utopia~

Just heard from the radio while i'm driving just now. It mentioned abt Utopia, and suddenly it strikes me dat the word is so less heard of nowadays and kinda amazed me how such a thing can go forgotten.

What's my Utopia?? Where exactly is it or how far away am i from Utopia?? Well, after some serious thought, it seems to have changed as time goes by. I'm practically born into the first Utopia i ever know. I have, to me, the best parents i can possibly ask for. They are always there for me, from my first baby cry to my first tears when i reached adulthood. Never have they given up on me before. Always staying with me, guiding me in the best possible direction for me, and giving me sound advice whenever i needed them. Their unconditional love is something i can't ignore or overlook. I'm terribly sorry and ashamed to say dat sometimes, i may have taken their love for granted, and may even disappoint them, but they will never utter a single word. Silently, they will wait for things to calm down and for me to realise my grave mistakes. To my parents, I Love You. Growing up under their wings will be the Utopia i remembered most clearly for all my life.

Yet, when i grow up, things started to change. Especially when we entered adoslecent. Things sudenly revolves around friendship and relationship. The Utopia for then is about how many friends i have, how popular i'm among friends and how wonderful my soulmate will be. The idea of being an outcast among my peers practically freaked me out. I started to be the best friend one can ever have to practically EVERYBODY. Even though deep down i know i can't, i still tried. It only ended up in me feeling lost and confused about my true personality. About who i really am. About understanding the face under the many masks i wore. At this point, i became reclusive and quiet, which is the total opposite of the hyperactive me, for a week. One of my friend noticed and gave me an insight of who i really am based on his understanding. From dat moment on, i understood a truth so important i will call it enlightment. I understand that i'm whoever i want myself to be. I can be the happiest person on earth if i so much so as allow myself to be happy in the first place. From then on, i became who i am today. A jovial, cheerful and sometimes hyperactive person who my friends labeled as a carefree soul. I found my second Utopia in life.


When i started working, i started to look for my third Utopia which is to achieve financial freedom. I'm still working towards my goal to achive it for now but along with me, i kept and hold dear my first and second Utopia. They had became vital in my daily operations. After i achieved the third Utopia, who knows, I may look for the fourth which will most probably be a blissful marriage and a handful of kids. Kids i will see growing up in the healthiest possible environment, like the one my parents gave me, with my dearest beloved soulmate (My current girlfriend, hopefully).